Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Missing ingredient in Bourdain's unconventional life

Anthony Bourdain was a struggling chef until his forties. He shot to fame after the publication of his "Kitchen Confidential" book.  Upon his death, sales of this book skyrocketed on Amazon.

For many foodies, Anthony Bourdain seemingly led an enviable life of luxury and indulgence. Looking back now, perhaps it was also this unexpected fame and fortune that led to his untimely end. 

One report said that his 20-year marriage to Nancy Putkoski collapsed because his wife considered his newly found prominence as a threat. Since then, he was reported to be constantly suicidal until he met another woman.

“After his first marriage to wife Nancy Putkoski ended in 2005, Bourdain recalled that he was 'aimless and regularly suicidal'.”


Of course, there was also his previous drug use to contend with. Plus, viewers would often see Bourdain drinking on TV.

The arrival of his daughter with his second wife Ottavia Busia appeared to have given him a higher purpose as he would mention how much she meant to him.

“Bourdain, who died at age 61, welcomed his only child 11 years ago with Ottavia Busia, whom he divorced in 2016, and he never shied away from expressing the girl’s influence on him.”


However, Bourdain did not settle down, as in stay at home with his family for a long period of time. Thus, it also led to the demise of his second marriage. While the couple remained friends, Bourdain continued to live independently and travel the world.

“The former couple—who married in 2007—opened up about their split shortly after the news broke in September 2016. “My wife and I live, have lived, very separate lives for years,” Bourdain told PEOPLE at the time. “There’s no drama here. We get along really, really well and it’s not a big lifestyle change happening here.”


At this point, he met and fell in love with a new girl Asia Argento whom he considered his match since they both worked in the same industry.

Reports mentioned that Bourdain was head over heals with Argento. Thus, when pictures surfaced on the Internet that she was seen holding hands and hugging a French journalist Hugo Clement, people speculated that the event triggered Bourdain’s suicide because it happened within the same week.

“Like a teenage boy just absolutely lovestruck,” the insider tells PEOPLE of Bourdain’s feelings for Argento. “He would have done anything for her, and that was a little red flag for some of his friends.”


Argento’s friend Rose McGowan wrote an open letter defending Argento saying that the couple had an open relationship and that suicide is a personal choice and should not be blamed on anyone.

“Anthony’s internal war was his war, but now she’s been left on the battlefield to take the bullets. It is in no way fair or acceptable to blame her or anyone else, not even Anthony. We are asking you to be better, to look deeper, to read and learn about mental illness, suicide and depression before you make it worse for survivors by judging that which we do not understand, that which can never fully be understood. Sometimes we are stuck in the unknowable, and that is where we are now, a massive wave of darkness that threatens to swallow everyone in its wake,” she added."


Depression and the role of family support

The public will never come to know the ultimate reasons for Bourdain’s suicide. Perhaps there were also other contributing factors that are not very obvious. 

Given his unconventional life, however, he didn’t appear to have had much of a family life that involved deep, constant, and stable relationships. This may have contributed to depression in his life.

A clinical study titled “The role of family bio-social variables in depression in a resource-constrained environment” (Pascal Iloh GU, Orji UN, Chukwuonye ME, Ifedigbo CV) states, “Depression is a family and public health problem that causes significant mortality and morbidity with affectations of interpersonal, family, work, social functioning, and health-related quality of life of the victim, especially when it is unrecognized and severe. Depression is defined as a mood or mental disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest in pleasurable activities accompanied by an inability to carry out daily activities for at least 2 weeks.”


The study concluded that family dynamics are directly linked to depression.

“Depression occurred among the study participants and was significantly associated with the unhealthy family function, low-acuity family support, least family cohesion and expressiveness and most family conflict interactions. The most significant family biosocial predictor of depression was unhealthy family functioning.”

Family as a support group was defined as “a group of individuals connected to a patient biologically, legally or by choice from whom the patient reasonably expects (sic) a measure of support in the form of food, shelter, finance, and emotional nurturing sharing a past, a present, and a future including all who contribute to the family culture. There are different types of family, the classification of which can influence depressive illness positively or negatively with implications for development, course, recognition, and treatment.”

Certain suicide hotlines in the United States have reported a spike in calls after the recent tragedies that may be a good outcome from the sad news. 

However, concerned individuals should also check on their relationships with friends and relatives to see how their own family support system can become even better.